Quote Garden

my knight you have to live you have to get up you have to put your hand over your wound and hold it there. you have to keep walking and walking and walking because you cannot lay down yet, it's not time. wipe the blood off your breastplate and look up into the sun. lean on your sword if you need to. lift one foot after another. get up. get up. this would be a pitiful grave. - bloodstainedgauntlet via tumblr

there is something about absolute faith that can be a kind of betrayal. if I tell you about the depths of my monstrosity and you say “I know you, that's not what you're really like,” then you're not actually listening to me. if I tell you that I'm afraid of hurting you and you say “you would never do that, and I would never hurt you,” that scares the living daylights out of me, because I want to know that if and when I ever lose the plot and turn on you then I can rely on you to fight back and save yourself. I can't trust you to love me if you aren't willing to hurt me. - annabelle-cane via tumblr. 

obsessed with the concept of the anti-saint. you will suffer cruelties and humiliations that should be unthinkable and die pointlessly, and if you must be remembered at all, it will only be with revulsion, as if you were a festering scar on reality itself. neither resistance nor submission will redeem you. god will not save you. god has abandoned you. everyone has abandoned you. you are alone in an uncaring universe. - valtsv via tumblr

been thinking about living weapons lately (as one does), specifically what i call the “sword variant” and the “sheath variant” subarchetypes

sword variant - more “active”, honed body and mind to directly inflict as much harm as possible, usually socially neglected and underdeveloped, more likely to see themself and be seen as complicit and a willing perpetrator of violence. the blade and the hands that swing it.

sheath variant - more “passive” (but that passivity is enforced and weaponised), molded body and mind to enable as much harm as possible, may be more socially adept but primarily if not only insofar as it serves those who wield them, more likely to be victimised as helpless but ultimately - ironically - blamed for their inaction. the cage and the hands that open it.

united by the simultaneous degradation and fetishisation of the body as a tool of violence, often shaped by if not explicit then implicit, aggressively and rigidly enforced oppressive gendered (as well as sometimes racial and class) roles, tacitly if not openly endorsed by the value apparatus of the state.

however ☝️‼️ these categories aren't a mutually exclusive dichotomy, rather more of a spectrum under the broader definition of “living weapon” - valtsv via tumblr

I would love to see a fantasy novel where the lore that the reader / protagonist learns at first is not true 

e.g. they're told that this kind of creature has some kind of psychic or pheromone-based “mate bond” that cannot be broken; but it turns out that's a popular myth that has never been scientifically substantiated, and is basically used to keep people in bad relationships (basically the equivalent of “human women are biologically submissive”)

“lore” is imo too often treated like information that the author is giving the reader, and it just happens to be using the medium of diagetic (that is, ‘in-story') exposition.

it's so much more interesting and dynamic to treat “lore” as information that is generated and disseminated in-story. who is telling the protagonist this information? under what historical and social circumstances was this idea formed? what political motives are there for trying to get people to believe this information? which characters would disagree with it? would the protagonist believe it, or be sceptical? does the plot bear it out, or cast doubt on it? - themeadowscene via tumblr

unhealthy codependency is really a top tier dynamic. like they need each other to survive but god. should they. - rhinco via tumblr

I'm obsessed with characters we only hear about second or third hand, especially when those accounts are conflicting. No, you don't get to see them, but here's a warped mirror of what other people thought they were. Enjoy your contemplation of how being known is an act of translation and communicates only aspects of the self. - mayasaura via tumblr

im thinking about really visible, obvious magical mind control… like beautiful, brilliant halos shining over empty headed angels and making their droopy eyes glow gold with the light of their god. its a beautiful curse to see, and it also makes an example of them to anyone who sees it. win win #mind control that makes you beautiful with its glow so you look dull and lifeless without it…… #only vibrant and full of life when the control is out of your hands - godlikedyke via tumblr

i think my favourite visual design for knight-themed characters has to be when their armor is almost like a carapace, or a second skin. when it fits them just a little too well, as if it's fused with them over time. when it's borderline impossible to imagine them without it, or that anything else could lie beneath. when the armor is almost more of a character than they are. it's a little hard to describe but you'll know it when you see it. - valtsv via tumblr

in general I think I have a weak spot for sunk cost fallacy characters. no point in trying to change because there's no going back! can't stop now because the possibility of being wrong is too unbearable to face head on and would destroy me if I tried! - veliseraptor via tumblr

I love villains that are the reverse of the idea that the absence of love makes you evil. Villains that love to the point of paranoia and obsession. Villains whose love for someone corrupts them. Love being used for awful, evil things. Using love to justify horrific actions. Anything that breaks down the toxic idea that people who don't feel love are monsters and those who feel love are always pure and heroic and morally right. - yellowdaffodils-76 via tumblr

dude omg i did NOT “come back wrong” you just remember me as imperfect and now i'm a divinely elevated version of myself with no capacity for wrongdoing. i'm still me dude i'm literally the same basically *all electronics within three feet of me explode* sorry i mean i meant to do that - miseria-fortes-viros via tumblr

“came back wrong” sure yeah that's cool i guess “came back suicidal” now you're talking

came back imprisoned by obligation to bear responsibility for the love and grief that others feel for you. came back painfully aware of the horror of existence. came back to a life you cannot bear to live anymore, to a body you cannot bear to call yours. - valtsv via tumblr

I love it when characters have some kind of weird bond between them. Psychic bonds, telepathic links, empathy links, soul bonds, and whatever else. What if you were always aware of the people you loved? What if you could feel their presence in a way beyond the five senses? What if they could never fully hide themselves from you? What if you could never fully hide yourself from them? - peachdoxie via tumblr

im a fucking sucker for the “character gets so badly injured that they can’t think clearly and start calling for help in a distressingly vulnerable way.” characters who start using nicknames for their friends they haven’t used since they were kids. characters who start begging for their brother they haven’t seen in years to be there. characters who would usually use their parents’ names or call them mother/father/etc crying out mama when they go down. u understand. - quietwingsinthesky via tumblr

Characters who are so closed off abouf their past calling out a name their new friends have never heard before - whumporama via tumblr

part of what makes tragedies tragic is the story being preventable from the outside but unpreventable from the inside - sjdsjkdlskdas (deactivated) via tumblr 

If they had done things differently they could have been happy, but to do things differently would require them to be someone else.- mysteryteacup via tumblr

Enough of the trope where memory loss undoes the damage or the corruption or whatever. More content where removing memories just removes the context.

The tragedy of needing to grieve and not knowing what or who you lost or why. The angst of having trauma and being denied the awareness that it's trauma. The suspense of being different somehow and left to wonder how and when. The tension of knowing that something is off and you can't find where it hurts. The Adventure Zone gets it. Kingdom Hearts gets it.

There is an aching inside you and you don't know how it got there. - humunanunga via tumblr.

Mariyekos' commentary: #as someone who has spent so much time crying over things she doesn't remember #the feelings can last long after the memories are gone #because at a certain point you don't remember the event. but you DO remember the feeling #and man when the feeling is all that remains... #it's slightly different than the prompt because i'm vaguely aware of what memories i should have #but i was so young they're gone now #it's interesting. grieving for something you once had but can never have again. #both are powerful experiences in their own way. context or no

we remember when “doomed by the narrative” meant “characters are constrained to very specific fates by virtue of the story's ending already being known (bc the story is a prequel or retold myth)” and not just “this character is doomed because bad things happen to them in the story,” right? - starbuck via tumblr

Mariyekos' commentary: Exactly! I love reading stories in which we know the character cannot survive, but we feel for them regardless. Some stories present these to you upfront, while others sort of gain this effect when you're experiencing them for the second time. Take a prequel story in which Character A is friends with Character B. In the original story, Character A referenced Character B's influence on their life multiple times. Character A could not have possibly saved the world had Character B not gotten them into this position. Character A would not have become the warrior they are had Character B's death not hardened them. So on and so forth. 

big fan of a character seeking comfort in the arms of the thing that's going to kill them. and i am psycologicalily normal too. - cannibalings via tumblr

broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

where's my useless apprentice i TOLD him it was going to be the duty of the next generation to not repeat the mistakes of those before them and to make this world bet- oh my apprentice goes by her now? you're telling me she's right in front of me! my dear i'm so sorry i didn't know. you look so much more happier and more confident than the bumbling, shy apprentice i once knew. im so proud of you. were you the one who tampered with my fucking runes - lizardsister via tumblr

[plants a sword in the ground in front of you after destroying your village] i like the look of hate in your eyes. take this and grow into a fine quarry for my hunt - yuriartillery via tumblr

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand - frodo-of-the-nine-fingers via tumblr

#at least once a month I think about that one post about laminating a paper towel#and how that makes it immortal but also forever prevents it from fulfilling its true purpose#yes you will live. but at the cost of everything that makes you You - noknowshame via tumblr (shared by ninewheels)

princessgirl who starts using the royal we

completely unrelated, said princessgirl starts noticing a new voice in her head - cryptid-catnip via tumblr

Shout out to Characters who are shells of their former selves! You died and you're not coming back! You don't recognize yourself and neither does anyone else, and it's anyone's guess what the fuck you're supposed to be now! - cyeayt via tumblr

Bro, we are cooked. The knight that dogs the prince's shadow like a dark and silent wraith just knelt to press his forehead to the prince's hand. Yeah, now he's uttering a prayer whose recipient is ostensibly God but in reality is the deified version of the prince that exists only in his mind. Aaand the prince just caressed his cheek to preemptively grant him absolution. I gotta… I gotta get out of here. - willjulep via tumblr

We all love the “becoming the very thing you sought to destroy,” trope. but I have a growing fondness for “destroying the very thing you sought to become” - vault-heck via tumblr

surely if i gnaw and worry at this old scar until it reopens and widens into an exit wound it'll finally allow the pain to escape and i'll be free. it's in the name innit. “exit” wound.

so it seems that reopening the wound allowed several other things to escape with it. things vital to my continued functioning survival even. hm. well. unfortunate!

maybe they'll come back to me if i keep it open just for a little longer - valtsv via tumblr

If haunting describes how that which appears to be not there is often a seething presence, acting on and often meddling with taken-for-granted realities, the ghost is just the sign, or the empirical evidence if you like, that tells you a haunting is taking place. The ghost is not simply a dead or a missing person, but a social figure, and investigating it can lead to that dense site where history and subjectivity make social life. The ghost or the apparition is one form by which something lost, or barely visible, or seemingly not there to our supposedly well-trained eyes, makes itself known or apparent to us, in its own way, of course. The way of the ghost is haunting, and haunting is a very particular way of knowing what has happened or is happening. Being haunted draws us affectively, sometimes against our will and always a bit magically, into the structure of feeling of a reality we come to experience, not as cold knowledge, but as a transformative recognition. - —Avery Gordon, Ghostly Matters: Haunting and the Sociological Imagination, via funeral

“People don't understand the word ruthless. They think it means 'mean.' It's not about being mean. It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It's about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it. - Marco, Book #30: The Reunion, pg. 71 (by K.A. Applegate)

“homer really said, every victory on the battlefield is a grieving father at home. and this is not a reason for the war to stop. and this is not a reason to stop telling stories about war. but you become fully human at the moment you recognize the total humanity of your enemy because it is only when you can see that that you can comprehend the humanity of your own mortal self. and like. three thousand years later and the world has yet to top that” - prettyboysdontlookatexplosions via tumblr

Hard to remain patient with friends who focus solely on their own crucifixion. Get off the Cross, ladykins… We could use the wood!

- Supposedly from RuPaul on twitter, though I couldn't find the original tweet myself. Originally seen on tumblr.

bro, the me inside your head is kind to you, right? haha? 🤨 - slitherpunk via tumblr

okay well. i hope the ghost of you that i begin to hallucinate out of guilt after you die suddenly, tragically, and entirely preventably is a better friend than you ever were. - valtsv via tumblr

99% of inhuman abominations stop their senseless consuming right before the unexplained void in their souls finally feels filled #KEEPGOING - allpiesforourown via tumblr

vampirism poses the question “what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?” and naturally as a person with no problems I don’t relate to this in any way at all. - annabelle-cane via tumblr

I killed a plant once because i gave it too much water. Lord, i worry that love is violence. - José Olivarez

I confuse instinct for desire--isn't bite also touch? - Natalie Diaz

YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! YOU CAN BITE AND SCRATCH AND BEG BUT YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK! - ryebreadgf via tumblr

All my grief says the same thing-- this isn't how it's supposed to be. And the world laughs, holds my hope by my throat, says: but this is how it is. - The Truth About Grief, Fortesa Latifi

how many times in one lifetime
should one have to completely remake themselves? - bone deep, megthemariner

It was clear that something had happened that wasn't going to unhappen - Sidewalk, Richard Silken

YOURE GONNA HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH THIS - fridayiminlovemp3 via tumblr

How do I make peace with this? - 60 hours, megthemariner

I can do this, I thought. Then: And even if I can't, I have to. - itsblackleader via tumblr

“i don't pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times and began again in the morning.” - Salt, Nayyirah Waheed

You haven't lost who you are, you're just different now. and that's okay - heavensghost via tumblr

- Compiled by megthemariner on tumblr. Individual attributions put on their own lines. 

Why does my life so often
feel like a slither of entrails
pouring from a wound in my belly?
With both my hands I grasp
my wet guts, trying to force
them back in. -

Marge Piercy, “Intimacy.” The Moon Is Always Female

weeping at the new moon
may I never lose
that terror
that keeps me brave
May I owe nothing
that I cannot repay.-

Audre Lorde, from The Black Unicorn: Poems; “Solstice”

lowkey i just killed all innocents - sentada via tumblr

notice how no one died - plumbo-gummite via tumblr

Mariyekos' commentary:  #versus a coming apocalypse in which only the guilty will die. and yet so many are left untouched #because the divine definition of guilt or sin does not align with the worldy view.

WHAT is even the point of mind controlling a hero if it doesn’t feel good. if you can’t make them like it. if they don’t learn to want it.

like why even bother corrupting a hero if it’s only temporary. at the very least when they ARE ‘freed’ by their teammates there should be a lingering sense of loss that culminates over time into them realizing they MISSED being at your command so they end up tracking you down, not to stop you but to beg you to enthrall them again so they can turn their brain off in a way that was blissful to them. just saying. - villainwithacrush via tumblr

#tropes #I know this sounds like a kink thing #and it likely is #but also outside of the kink there are probably a lot of people among protagonists who would welcome the relief #of not having to worry about whether or not they’re making the right choices #the relief of knowing that the world isn’t in their hands anymore. the relief of being freed from all their self-imposed restrictions #I’m just saying #people who treat mind control as ONLY the scary thing fail to understand that it’s MORE scary BECAUSE it’s appealing #that a lot of people crave even just a brief moment of not having to make hard choices #and that craving can be exploited or fed by someone with a mind control power who spends a thought for making it feel good to obey #and so you want it. and you know you shouldn’t. but it was the best thing you’ve ever felt. but they’re the bad guy. #and if you don’t have another outlet. some way to feel like you can just BE instead of having to be the HERO

#eventually you’ll have a bad enough day that you stop caring about the consequences #because you know the sense of consequence is the first thing that leaves when you’re brainwashed #the fear of mind control is not only the fear of being under the thumb of someone who forces you to do bad things #the fear of mind control is also the fear of realizing that it’s preferable to be controlled #than it is to be your own free agent in a world that pulls you in dozens of directions at once #at least with the mind control only one thing matters #at least with the mind control you don’t feel lost or scared or paralyzed #at least with the mind control you can find simplicity in a complicated world #and knowing you’re weak enough to go back even knowing it’s not good for you? that has its own enthralling horror to it too #and people don’t play with that horror enough outside of kink spaces

#all of this to say: yes. if your hero doesn’t have lasting side effects from remembering what it was like not to have to care? #you’re leaving free character development on the table #because there are so so so many things you can do with this if you’re not afraid to explore your character’s internal conflicts #you can decry the mind control as fake relief if you feel the need to #or you can say “the fact that you need this is a cry for help we didn’t interpret in time” #you can even say “there’s nothing wrong with needing this. just… don’t go to the villain for this. there are other ways.” -my personal fa #if you’re really not afraid to explore character dynamics say that the villain is surprised to see the hero come back #and that by itself opens so many potential story directions with the hero-villain dynamic - hestia-and-the-court via tumblr (on villainwithacrush's tumblr)

We always talk about Achilles' “eat [him] raw” line in book 22, but I find Hecuba's later, similarly cannibalistic, line to be equally (if not more) compelling

In book 24, right before Priam goes out to retrieve Hector's body, he speaks with Hecuba, telling her where he's going and what he's doing. In response, Hecuba freaks out, telling Priam to stay and mourn Hector within the walls of Troy. During this exchange she says, “Oh would to god that I could sink my teeth in his liver, eat him [Achilles] raw! That would avenge what he has done to Hector–”

What I find most interesting about Hecuba's line is that it is so much more direct than that of Achilles in book 22. In his speech, Achilles adds a few degrees of separation between himself and the act of cannibalism: “Would to god my rage, my fury would drive me now to … eat you raw.” In Ancient Greece, mortal cannibalism was a serious taboo (duh), seen as the ultimate act of barbarity, one which fundamentally separated a person from their humanity. Cannibalism is an act so disturbing, so inhuman, that even Achilles, in all his rage, cannot bring himself to desire it (let alone commit the act!).

But Hecuba, Hecuba doesn't dance around it. “Oh would to god that I could sink my teeth in his liver, eat him raw!” This is a direct wish; were she were given the opportunity and the power, she would eat Achilles. At this point, what does she have to lose? She's already lost so many sons, Troy is in a state of constant distress, and now Hector is gone. Hector, her very own son. Hector, the protector of Troy. All Hecuba has left is rage, a hunger for vengeance. A Rage so potent that it can only be expressed through the most sinful and visceral act of devouring your enemy.

But Hecuba never actually eats Achilles. She doesn't have the outlet that he does; she can't go into battle, can't actually do anything to the man who has killed her son. And so Hecuba's rage, so intensely inhuman, stews within her. And maybe it's because of this festering anger that, in many versions of her story, Hecuba becomes a dog. A beast which, in the Iliad specifically, is so often used as a threat to soldiers and their bodies: “Sooner the racing dogs will eat him raw”. -marietheidiot via tumblr

Mariyekos' commentary: Extracting this one for an observation; who is it that the pain, the grief, the fury, etc is attributed to? Does the character blame themself, or do they place it on another? Does it mean more if they blame themself? If they place it on the other? It's the difference between “your action will make me do x” versus “your action makes me want to do x.” Even when it's internal- ex. Achilles saying his own fury would drive him to commit cannibalism - there's a certain distance introduced by having a driving force that is not desire.

You have to be careful with your knight. They're not used to gentleness, and it might take some time for them to accept it. The first time you remove their helmet, they may not be able to meet your gaze. This is normal. There's a lot more of you to take in than through a visor, and it can be overwhelming. Don't expect them to make eye contact immediately. When you undress the rest of them, go slowly. You'll be forced to because of the very nature of the armor they live in. Make sure you pause after every piece and allow them to get used to freedom once more. It's especially important for them to breathe deeply once you've removed both cuirass and gambeson. Place your hand over their heart to ensure they take a few deep breaths from the chest before you continue. When you are finished playing the part of squire, be sure to give them something else to wear. They'll feel far too exposed at first. Make sure it's something light, they don't need any more weight on their shoulders. Do not be surprised if their hands tremble when you take them. The feel of your hands is a far cry from that of their gauntlets, and it may take some time for them to adjust to the softness. Reassurance is your friend with a vulnerable knight. Encouragement can also aide you, but be cautious to avoid overuse. If your knight feels pressured, they will revert to their training, and you will never know their true self. If it is your wish to have a knightly lover, do not glorify the shell, but rather, cradle the creature within. - the-lonely-knight via tumblr